Dad Tries Homeschooling For A Day. Here’s What Happened…
Homeschooling a child who refuses to learn on anyone’s terms but his own is a challenge. Let me set the tone… Dad’s never done this. Mommy just had major surgery and is out of commission. He’s going to show me how easy my days could be.
Oh – My son is NOT being medicated at this time. Aaannnnnd GO!
Let’s Begin.
So, my cheerful, patient and doting spouse sits down at the kids table. All 6’5″ of him. At a table built for toddlers. K?
“Ok, let’s go.” At first he is super helpful. He reads and re-reads the math problems for my son patiently.
He sips his coffee. Maybe our son will respond positively to his calm leadership and willingness to repeat himself many, oh so many times. And maybe today will go smoothly. Like, take less than 3 hours and show Mommy how simple and peaceful homeschooling “is.” (Background: the day prior, I was still trying to get my son to complete his reading/vocabulary work at 4:30pm. I don’t know who suffered the greater torture, the student or the teacher.)
30 Minutes Pass.
This kid is not following directions, nor has he accomplished anything. He is looking at anything BUT his homework. Swinging his feet and doodling. Chit-chatting to no one, initiating clever arguments, and expressing deep interest in important “man-stuff” to distract my husband.
“Focus.” The brave solider attempts.
“I can’t.”My son whines. (True, but also, not true. His high level of intelligence is laced with master manipulation tactics and an appetite for sabotage. Oh yes – IF there is a meltdown… THEN his work “can’t” get done. He’s smart, that one.)
“This answer is wrong, try again.” My spouse is trying. Kudos.
“I don’t have to!” Said the brat. (He’s also decided that if he wants to, he can just get a bad grade. Or, so it had been in the past when he attended public school.)
Now, at this point, I’m happily medicated and should be more helpful, but I’m almost amused at the storm that I see brewing and I’m just… so… curious to see how things play out.
My Spouse is Triggered.
His athor-i-ty just got challenged. This math worksheet is taking too long.
He tries to save face with a warning. “I’m going to refill my coffee cup and you’d better have your answers written by the time I return.” (Ooohhhh… scary.) Of course he didn’t.
Threats don’t work on my son. It’s almost like he absorbs them.
Like, “Oh if I don’t do this, I’m losing my Star Wars action figures for a week? Hmm. Darn. OK. That’s worth the price of no more homework!” He’s had much worse done to him in the past, so our menial disciplinary tactics are laughable. Lame, at best.
The F-Bomb Drops.
I feel incredibly validated and I’m laughing my ass off now. Of course nothing was accomplished. The current score is now Kid 3, Dad 0. He mumbles something about having other things to do today. (Uh-huh.)
My Son Drops His Pencil.
There goes MY trigger. I’m not laughing anymore and I’m not even the one on the hook today.
Before they started, I made it clear to my husband that this is one of his tricks. If he drops his pencil, he “can’t” do his work. I’ve had to implement a system of higher-level warnings and ridiculous consequences for this in order to keep him going. So, I look back at the table and all I have to say is “that’s one.”
He Knows What That Means.
And at some level, I’m relieved because he hesitated (It worked!). But…. Since Dad’s the teacher today, he proceeds with his plans to undermine the system (No, it didn’t!).
One hour has passed and NOTHING has been accomplished.
-End Scene-
While this isn’t an everyday occurrence, it is one of the reasons we do what we do, and have made the sacrifices we have. To help my son learn and cope with the demands of school and life while managing multiple disabilities is a hefty challenge. But progress IS being made. And he is advancing in all areas and has decided to become an astronaut or scientist of some sorts. He’s also informed me that he plans to have more college degrees than I do.
Fine by me.
The author writes from an unabashed, had-it-up-to-here, daily defeated and re-strengthened by grace and hope… kind of place. An adoptive mother of a curious kiddo, full of spirit and sass, tells her tales of homeschooling, fostering, and raising children with special needs. Thanks for joining us on this adventure from adoption to life!
- Original Post Date: 2016
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