Foster Parenting 101: Rules For Online Activity
We’ve been told these principles in our training (more or less), but how much of it are we actually following? By creating a second, “secret” social media account to share your photos and stories… you haven’t averted the privacy/confidentiality agreement you signed with child welfare in your state. You’ve broken it.
More than that; you’ve broken a promise made to the child(ren) you are caring for and to their parents who hold the rights to control what is shared online about their babes 100%. Let’s circle back to those rules…
Rule Two: No Names
If you missed Rule #1, Click here to return to Foster Parent Confidentiality on the Web: How ‘Public’ is Your Information?.
Paring down your online presence, in regards to your fostering life, means using no names or code names instead of real ones. I personally prefer an actual “name-name” instead of the popular animal name trend, but to each their own.
I have even taken this further by avoiding using my child’s real name online even after adoption. Our close friends and family know this. My son also knows that when he is old enough, he will be able to create and maintain his own “image” and reputation online. And, when he does, it should not be tainted (or undermined) by anything I’ve already created.
Rule Three: No Faces
As much as I hate those stickers on faces, because, well, babies and kiddos are cute… the likelihood of your foster child being scanned with a facial recognition software is getting HIGHER every day.
These programs automatically (often without your clear permission) link up a photo and tag it to anyone related.
If you want those online memories to be more accessible, you’ll need to work with the biological parents to find a compromise. In an open relationship, that second, private group you want to create would include the bio parents and perhaps the social worker. Then, when the child’s legal guardian/bio parent shares the stories or images, ask if you can re-share. Give them the ability to exercise their parental rights.
If this arrangement is not possible, stick on those stickers or catch those cute moments from behind backs to get a limited no face shot.
Until you adopt – these children are not legally yours. You do not have the right to put their name or image online, anywhere.
Once, I took a foster youth to participate in a community event at a library. At the event, the staff took photos for future publicity and marketing. Not long after, their entire catalog of classes and events for kids was released… with my foster child’s face on the cover. Banners, posters, postcard mailings, social media and more… were all created with NO photo release from me (which I would not have signed, anyways). This created a serious safety risk – identifying the child and their location/proximity to anyone and everyone in the metropolitan area, or online.
A quick call to the city manager (library boss) to explain the situation was all that was needed. They were apologetic and amazingly understanding. Within 24 hours – ALL images were pulled down and printed catalogs pulled from shelves to be re-covered. This was an expensive mistake on their part, but also quite a gesture to demonstrate the seriousness of our own responsibilities as foster parents.
Last question before we move on: What have you recently shared that might need to be reworded, re-named, cropped, covered, or pulled down?
Okay! Ready to dig a little deeper? Let’s go over the big stuff:
13 websites that are currently sharing your very personal information with the world… and how you can stop them.
Click here to continue: 13 Websites That Are Sharing Identifying Information on Foster Parents
Click here to read Rule #1 and “How ‘Public’ is Your Information?“
The author writes from an unabashed, had-it-up-to-here, daily defeated and re-strengthened by grace and hope… kind of place. An adoptive mother of a curious kiddo, full of spirit and sass, tells her tales of homeschooling, fostering, and raising children with special needs. Thanks for joining us on this adventure from adoption to life!
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