Support For Foster/Adoptive Families

Accepting A Child From Foster Care: As-Is

Accepting A Child From Foster Care: As-Is

We knew what we were getting into. According to the months of training and stacks of books and licenses we had as foster parents… we “knew.”

But we knew next to nothing about the child who would incidentally be placed in our home. …Then turn it upside down.

“We don’t have another place for him right now. Can you keep him with you until we know more?” My son’s social worker asked us this question after learning that a former family member dropped him off at our house …and never came back.

And so he stayed. And despite some extraordinary events and discoveries, we accepted him. Day after day – he was accepted in our home. And so we evolved from strangers to parents because of our acceptance. And we are blessed to have done so. 

“If I Had Known.” 

A Mother’s Reflection 12/15/18

Before we met, if I had known
The reasons why you hadn’t grown
The stories of your mental care
Or horrors of your dental care
I might have been a little shocked
My perception, a bit more rocked

If all at once, I knew of you
I don’t know that I would go through
Adopting you
My son
My son

If I heard more about your rage
And acting way below your age
Insurmountable fears
Which would trigger your tears
I may have been more cautious
Before I assumed losses

If all at once, I knew, I knew
I don’t believe that it would do
To keep you
My son
My son

If what we know was then unveiled
And more accurate the forms entailed
Your deficits in basic skills
And struggles to eat basic meals
Would scare me far away, away
I would not be here for you today

If all at once, I were to learn
My home, my life would be upturned
I might have spurned
My son
My son

But God had bigger plans, you see
For you and now, our family
Through errors and omissions
Mysteries and detrition
We are all together, now and forever
We promised we would never sever
This life we have to support you
To heal and hold and love on you
My son
My son
I couldn’t do it if I knew

My job is clear for while you’re here
A home of better atmosphere 
A world with three square meals a day
And mom and dad are here to stay
A life with us means suffering through
To shed the past that’s gripping you

With God, this is just what we’ll do
Because His promises are true
My son
My son
He promises you
Family, love, and future, too. 

I see today that if I knew
I’d miss out on His promise, too.
For all I’d give, it will return
To me, the mother, full of concern
The patience and truth
Invested in your youth
Will be blessed upon blessed 
Because I possessed 
The will to accept
Someone less than the best
And my heart to arrest 
All judgment suppressed
So it could go through
The adoption of you
Just as you are
My son
My son


The author writes from an unabashed, had-it-up-to-here, daily defeated and re-strengthened by grace and hope… kind of place. An adoptive mother of a curious kiddo, full of spirit and sass, tells her tales of homeschooling, fostering, and raising children with special needs. Thanks for joining us on this adventure from adoption to life!

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